When things go according to plan…

… and yet don’t somehow at the same time.

It has been a while since I have posted dear readers and I apologize for that. I have found myself in a limbo of sorts the last couple of weeks and I am not sure what I am actually up to.

The last time I updated you, I was excited and eager to finish my last two reviews so I could hopefully start my own book. I had set myself a goal of typing those opening words by October 1st.

I was very pleased that I was able to get through those lovely books and reviews ahead of schedule and I found myself mid way through September ready to start writing. AND I did! I started the first chapter of Concussed (working title) and I found the words flowing more freely than I thought possible.

I was giddy. I was elated. Then I don’t know what happened. I looked back at the chapter (something I had not done with my previous book) and I thought was this too easy?

I decided to involve a friend (who knew nothing of the premise and who had edited my last novel) to read it and make sure what I was writing wasn’t just me spewing literary crap all over the page. I was rewarded with what I wanted to hear. BUT I still found the cursor blinking at me after the words Chapter 2.

I involved my best friend (who knew the premise) to read Chapter 1. Yet again I was given amazing feedback, but I still find myself apprehensive. I can’t quite put my finger on it as I find myself in a new place in my writing and I don’t know how to define it.

I feel like so many things went right and yet equally as many went wrong. Did I go too far in allowing someone to read it so early? Did I panic when starting it went so well? Am I just in locked inside my head and don’t know how to find the key to continue?

I notice that a lot of these paragraphs start with I and I want to apologize for that. But I want to keep you all updated and hope that by sharing the troubles I am having, that maybe one of you lovely readers might have some insight for me.

Honestly I feel stuck. Not just with my writing, but with other aspects of my life as well. I have struggled with depression in my youth and I know what it feels like to be down, but this somehow feels different. I would appreciate any insight you literary lovelies have and look forward to any comments below.

May you all have a great rest of your weekend and Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians and Happy Thanksgiving to the rest of you loves.


Honestly Austen

Postscript: What is one of your favourite things about Thanksgiving? Mine is rutabagas/turnips boiled and mashed with brown sugar.


One thought on “When things go according to plan…

  1. Oh man. I’m coming to this a little late, but I feel ya.

    I’ve got a writing project that’s been stuck for…months, now. I just feel a sort of sucking depression whenever I even picture myself opening the file.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t think you made a mistake involving someone so early. Sometimes, you need a second set of eyes. And I’d cut yourself a little slack–it’s winter, everything is naturally slowing down. Early nights and cold mornings can be particularly hard.


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