… and yet don’t somehow at the same time.
It has been a while since I have posted dear readers and I apologize for that. I have found myself in a limbo of sorts the last couple of weeks and I am not sure what I am actually up to.
The last time I updated you, I was excited and eager to finish my last two reviews so I could hopefully start my own book. I had set myself a goal of typing those opening words by October 1st.
I was very pleased that I was able to get through those lovely books and reviews ahead of schedule and I found myself mid way through September ready to start writing. AND I did! I started the first chapter of Concussed (working title) and I found the words flowing more freely than I thought possible.
I was giddy. I was elated. Then I don’t know what happened. I looked back at the chapter (something I had not done with my previous book) and I thought was this too easy?
I decided to involve a friend (who knew nothing of the premise and who had edited my last novel) to read it and make sure what I was writing wasn’t just me spewing literary crap all over the page. I was rewarded with what I wanted to hear. BUT I still found the cursor blinking at me after the words Chapter 2.
I involved my best friend (who knew the premise) to read Chapter 1. Yet again I was given amazing feedback, but I still find myself apprehensive. I can’t quite put my finger on it as I find myself in a new place in my writing and I don’t know how to define it.
I feel like so many things went right and yet equally as many went wrong. Did I go too far in allowing someone to read it so early? Did I panic when starting it went so well? Am I just in locked inside my head and don’t know how to find the key to continue?
I notice that a lot of these paragraphs start with I and I want to apologize for that. But I want to keep you all updated and hope that by sharing the troubles I am having, that maybe one of you lovely readers might have some insight for me.
Honestly I feel stuck. Not just with my writing, but with other aspects of my life as well. I have struggled with depression in my youth and I know what it feels like to be down, but this somehow feels different. I would appreciate any insight you literary lovelies have and look forward to any comments below.
May you all have a great rest of your weekend and Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians and Happy Thanksgiving to the rest of you loves.
Postscript: What is one of your favourite things about Thanksgiving? Mine is rutabagas/turnips boiled and mashed with brown sugar.